Boy's are always amazing me! It's either me unale to undersand them or them not being able to grasp me. hehe Just like in the begging of Wedding Crashers the main guy has a seceratry who suggest a blind date with her friend. He soons goes off on a tangent about why dating is so horrible! I felt such a connection with everything he spouted about. Such as knowing if he likes you or if you really like him. Do you act like you like the person if you don't? I do not enjoy looking for a relationship. I swear this whole thing has been shot to hell.
I know exactly how to end a relationship before there is even a chance of it starting . "Trying to have a relationship with someone" is the easiest way to destroy it.
As the new year approach's I am an open book. A little worried about the stress of parents, friends and what religious path I will follow. Some how I seem to put these all aside and just be okay in the moment. I notice now that summer is quickly dieing! The thoughts of what I may face in the upcoming year flash before me. As a shy but at times forward person I am unsure of what rejection I may expect. I hope to take it fashionably with out hatful feeling or any form of jealously, because neither emotions are attractive.
In the past week I have been forced to pick my brother up from HP (his work) at 2am! Because I am often scared of being alone, aspecialy at night I snatched jason Davis to be my late night buddy to share the long rides with! One night he brough Nate along.(a guy I once liked.. but thats not the point) I listen to th
This Saturday June 25 my sister is due! I'm overly excited. Sadly I dough she will be going into labor until next Saturday when she is being planned to be induced. The baby (boy) tried to come a few weeks early so the hospital was trying it's hardest to not let her go into labor. Now that it's actually time for Demian to come he is now refusing! Jessica keeps telling me she thinks he'll Never come out! I just giggle and think how much she'll want him back in her stomach as soon as she has a few all nighters with him. hehe I know she will be a great mother though! Any advise? (nice advise)
OH SIDE NOTE:
One of the last days of school I braought my sister Jessica to school so she could take her German final! As we were walking outside rigth in front of the side doors which lead into the locker hall. Meagen (or the girl who was with her.. dosen't really matter they are both at fault) both walked past and wispered quiet loudly *SLUT*! This is what I think of your fuckin comment.. I MEAN WHO THE HELL D YOU THINK YOU ARE...To call my sister a slut. She slept with one guy her B/F! And Meagen you go to Crossroads.. haha that say's a lot about what kind of Christian are you! If you ever say anything like that to my sister or sayit near me... I swear... !!! I'm a very none violent person but once someone mess's with the person I love more then life itself! You DO NOT WANT to go there. So how about you stop and think about what your saying before you say it. She may have had sex... but what are you in middle school? Calling people names.. I thought we were all over that. I guess not because you ahve seemed to prove me wrong! HOW ABOUT YOU KEEP YOUR THOUGHTS TO YOURSELF!
My freshmen year seem to drag on and it seemed like a century long. Sophomore year felt like I was jogging a marathon. Not quiet going as fast as I would like but I was feeling comfortable with my surroundings. As I sat in auditorium at Heritage I felt like it was literally yesterday when I was sitting in the gym watching my ex-b/f, brother and many other students walk out of HHS. I've heard the saying from many peers before me "It seemed like only yesterday" I hadn't acaully grasped this feeling until the moment I was watching this years senior get up and leave. Because really it was only yesterday when I said goodbye last.
BUT NOW IT'S SUMMER YAYA! I don't even want to think about my Senior year.. I just want this summer to last a life time. I wish to experience love, friendship, some eventful evenings, a little bit of crazy girls night and bunchs more! HAha my writing sucks today.. meh IT"S SUMMERR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHoAOOA!
I must Love myslef first....
I know the thoughts people have about me dosen't matter. But lol I still wonder. Guess what I was so angrey last night because I felt like I wasn't loved by anybody outside of my family. Of course becuase your family must love you. hehe But I was laying in my bed sobbing thinking about why i was cring because I wasn't quiet sure! As I started to break down all the reason's. I had these thoughts. I'm angrey because I was rejected again by someone I really liked. I feel like I am not loved by anyone ..... and as I cryed I realized how silly it was for me to be crying over some guy. It was like God was there... telling me how little this issue was. My tears just stopped and at that moment all my sadness went away. It was so werid... During the day anger would slightly try to come back in but I tryed my hardest not dwell on it. lol.. Boy's are my weakness.. it makes me sad.. when I feel unworthy becuase of a guy .. thats when I know I have hit rock bottom and need to get in a good place with myslef and God. First you must truley love yourslef in order to love anyone else. I think
